Be careful what you wish for

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To read or not to read, that is the question!

A while back, I griped about the workout pants that many women wear that have words printed right across the butt.  Yesterday’s Miss Manners column has a question that deals with a similar situation but is much more ridiculous:

At a public doing, I encountered a very well-developed female at least 30 years my junior. She was wearing an exceptionally low top and displaying all of her natural attributes. Each of her displayed anatomy parts was amply tattooed with words of the English language. They appeared to be clearly printed, though, being a gentleman, I did not read.

I have no knowledge of what they said. Possibly, they were names of her friends or perhaps instructions of some sort regarding a likely delicate matter. Since this printing was in a public place, would I have been correct in reading the words, or was I correct in merely trying to look at her forehead?

This guy says he is 71 years old. How has he not learned etiquette by now?

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Females’ clothing

You can sometimes tell something about a person by the type of question that he or she asks. There is a question on Yahoo ! Answers where a girl (woman?) is asking:

How do i make my skirt shorter?

No i don’t want to be a slut. it’s knee length on me so when i wear the shirt i want to wear, it looks unsual.
I’m short so that’s the reason why it’s long on me (it’s suppose to be a mini)
How can i make my skirt an inch shorter without cutting it?
should i fold it on top? the shirt is a babydoll so it’s flowy and you can’t see it.

It is apparent from the question that she is not a slut, as all sluts already know how to do this…  Seriously, I’m kind of surprised that this question does not come up more often, as girls/women have really weird clothing sizes (e.g. 0, 2, 4, etc.), unlike men whose pants have an waist size as well as an inseam (e.g. 34/29). I wonder who the idiot was who came up with the womens’ size classification…

CLARIFICATION 9/16: The main point was not supposed to be whether she is a slut, but that I was kind of surprised that she didn’t know how to shorten her skirt since (I think) women’s clothing have to be altered most of the time due to the crazy sizing system.

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Men and women

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance.
Smart man + dumb woman = affair.
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage.
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy.

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

POSTULATES
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes; there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.

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Pet peeve – people who are offended by certain words

I am really annoyed by people who say that people shouldn’t use certain words (e.g. “shit” and “fuck”) – and I am really really annoyed when they say that people shouldn’t use those words because there are women present.

I strongly feel that a word is merely a collection of letters, and that unless the meaning is disparaging toward some group, it cannot be considered offensive. For example, “nigger” is definitely offensive because by definition it insults black people. However, “shit” and “fuck” are not offensive because none of their definitions are insulting. Even a word such as “bitch” is not offensive because none of the definitions insult a group of people.

Even if some words are considered offensive, why would it be not acceptable to use them if women are present, but acceptable if women are not present? Do they think these words will make womens’ brains explode but not mens’?

If you are reading this sentence, I thank you for (hopefully) reading this whole rant…

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Very non-PC / offensive / pointless forum questions

Some questions on Internet forums are so offensive and/or non-PC that they can only be answered one way unless the answerer wants to be the victim of a virtual tar and feathering.

Take this example from BlogCatalog.com:

would u work under one? (female boss)

What kind of person, other than a religious fanatic, is going to answer “No” to this question? Is there any point to asking a question where all the answers are going to be the same?

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I wonder if his teacher is a woman…

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