Questions about the 2010 Winter Olympics

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, people all over the world are asking questions. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. (Frightening, isn’t it?)

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see polar bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto–can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only four thousand miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let’s not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It’s called a moose. It is tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to it. You can scare it off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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Most gullible person in world – IOC President Jacques Rogge

If you have been following, you may have noticed that there has been a major controversy about the ages of the Chinese women girl gymnasts.

Several days ago, the IOC asked for another investigation into this matter. Now Rogge is saying that the paperwork that China submitted for this investigation appears to back up the original determination that the gymnasts were old enough to compete.

How can anybody be so naive and gullible to think that countries would not falsify passports (especially since China was caught using an underage gymnast before)?

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A very young Michael Phelps

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Michael Phelps – 100 m butterfly -WOW!

Wow! I thought the finals of the 4 x 100 m freestyle relay had  the most exciting finish that I would ever see. It appeared to be a bang-bang at the finish, but the United States won by 0.08 seconds.

But then I watched the 100 m butterfly final last night. Milorad Cavic of Serbia clearly had the race won with about 1 m left. But then he glided in and Phelps took a stroke to out-touch Cavic by 0.01 seconds. It was so close that you couldn’t tell from any of the underwater angles who had won. In fact, it appeared to me that Cavic may very well have touched the wall first.

In fact, Serbia filed a protest, but the tapes (being shown at 1 frame per 1/10,000 second)  showed Phelps winning.  CNNSI.com has frame by frame footage of this incredible finish on their website. Again, WOW!

But what the heck is wrong with Phelps? He didn’t even set a world record? 😉

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Age of Chinese “women” gymnasts

There have been many reports in the media recently that several of China’s female Olympic gymnasts are under the minimum age required to be eligible for the Olympics.  In fact, the Chinese media has reported that one of the gymnasts is now 13 or 14, even though an athlete has to turn 16 sometime during the year of the Olympics to be eligible.

The problem now is that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) will not do anything because they rely on passports to verify age.  The passports of the athletes in question show that they are eligible to compete. The IOC has apparently not grasped the fact that If a government is truly willing to win at all costs, then it can easily issue passports with a false date of birth.

One of the commenters in a previous post (8/13/08, 7:45 pm) suggested that they test bone tissue or the teeth to verify age. I did a Google search on “determining age children bone tissue” and “determining age children teeth” and these do seem to be fairly good tests (though if the child is 15, the tests could indicate that s(he) is 16 and vice versa.)

In my opinion, the use of what appears to be 11-12 year olds is morally much worse than athletes taking steroids and other prohibited substances. In other words, if they are going to test for drugs, they need to verify athletes’ ages.  Unfortunately, it appears that the IOC will do nothing.

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Chinese cheating at the Olympics

If you are thinking that I am writing about a Chinese athlete failed a drug test, you are…… wrong.

Chinese officials decided that a 7-year girl who was supposed to sing at the opening ceremonies was not attractive enough, so they decided to have a more attractive girl lip sync.

A Chinese official said,

The national interest requires that the girl should have good looks and a good grasp of the song and look good on screen.

How pathetic can you get? If they really needed the singer to be attractive, why on earth did they not get one with a voice that was acceptable to them instead of having the attractive singer lip sync to the non-attractive person’s voice? It is inconceivable that they couldn’t find one in a country with a population of well over a billion people.

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