“Your Honor, we suck!”

University of Louisville sued Duke University for withdrawing from their contract to play four football games between 2002 and 2009. Duke’s lawyers successfully argued that their football team is so bad (TRUE!) that Louisville could easily find “a team of similar stature.”
ESPN.com story

Murphy’s Law applied to checkout lines and traffic signals

When you are waiting in a checkout line to make a purchase, and switch to a different line which is moving faster, your original line will start moving at light speed and your new line will move like a snail.
When you are in a hurry to reach your destination, every traffic signal will be red. [...]